Let's have some serious teacher talk.

A couple of weeks ago, a group of my teenaged dancers asked me: “Don't you ever get angry?”. And I told them the truth. I do get angry. Everyone gets angry, because anger is part of a full range of emotions. Anger is acceptable. Anger is normal. I sometimes feel angry, disappointed, annoyed, sad, and I sometimes even feel those emotions in relation to my students.

Their response: “But you never yell.” I agreed. I never yell. Yelling has no place in the dance studio or in teaching. Anger is a feeling. Yelling is an imposition.

How do I do it? I'm not perfect. I don't have magical control of my emotions. For me, it's all about perspective. What does it feel like to be yelled at by a teacher? It feels diminishing. It feels damaging. It is a memory that will be carried along to the next interaction. In every interaction, I have the chance to leave a student feeling a little bit better or a little bit worse. I choose better, brighter, broader, smarter, more capable, SAFER.

When it comes down to a crucial moment for that student, I want to be one of their trusted adults. I want to be an adult who leaves them feeling a little bit better. I never want to be the one who undercuts their confidence or their trust. I never want them to feel unsafe.

As we sat in a tight circle on the lobby floor, one student told me that at a previous studio a teacher had yelled throughout the class. She told us the story of breaking her wrist as she caught herself in a bad fall, and the teacher yelling “Get up! You're fine!”. She got up. She danced for the rest of the class. She wasn't fine. Her wrist healed, her heart didn't.

You have the choice to leave a student feeling better or worse. Leave them feeling better.